Patagonia? More like AmazingPictureOpportunityAgonia

It's either cause there's too much going on, cause the pictures are too awesome or cause I'm lazy....this post will be all pictures from Patagonia. Sure, I could tell you about arriving in Patagonia and having the cab driver blasting Celine Dion in the car, but you didn't come here for that. I could reminisce about the dance party we had at the top of the mountain, but you hate dancing. So, instead, here's some pictures of Patagonia

Pretty colors

White man CAN jump

She said no

But I got to do a Titanic scene with her first

You love the back of my head

#FallColors

Floating

Iceberg right ahead (that was a titanic reference)

You really love the back of my head

The coolest picture ever taken of me

The view from the bottom of the ice climb

Just gettin sum work done

I don't always drink Bailey like liqueurs, but when I do, it's on a glacier

Had to hit the Korean massage chair after all that hiking

OK, fine I'll show you the video of the dance party on top of the mountain.

And now I have moved to Bolivia. La Paz, Boliva. It's built into the mountains. Its at an elevation of 11,982 ft. Its hard to walk around. This is what it looks like:

And lets just address the elephant in the room. The plumbing is so bad here that you can't throw the toilet paper in the toilet.

Ok see you next time.

FOMO is real

In case you missed it, I had a life event:

FB Official. I live in Buenos Aires.....for like another two weeks now.

But first, it's time for our post-ly (once per post) Q&A time, where I answer the most common questions that no one actually sent to me.

Q: Have you had any good steak in Argentina?

A: I get this question a lot. Everyone has heard about the steak in Argentina. I've definitely had some steak in Argentina, but I wouldn't say its been like a steak orgy. There's been no cow holocaust. The beef hasn't flowed like wine. I haven't been swimming in a sea of calf blood.

But, yeah I ate some steak.

Q: Have you seen any Breaking Bad themed restaurants

A: Yes

Q: Is Limp Bizkit still a band?

A: Funny you should ask that. I happen to just have seen a sign for them coming to Buenos Aires.

Q: How can I become a digital nomad?

A: Well my current roommate Charles (seen above holding up a dead cow with me), paid me money to pitch the course he's working on that helps people become digital nomads. He paid me top dollar specifically because I have so many readers of this blog. Here's the link.


Wow. That was great. Keep sending in those questions and I will continue to give you answers (cause that's how Q&A works).


Now let's move on to what has become your next favorite section of my blog....my very accurate and representative observations on culture and people in the places I go. Since I'm still in Argentina you get a whole other list from here:

• Doors of buildings are locked from the inside. As in you need a key to get out of the building. This is ridiculously annoying. Just picture this: Its 5am. You just kicked a girl out of your apartment. But then you remember, she can't get out of the building without you unlocking the door for her downstairs. Do you get out of bed to go let her out? Or do you hope she doesn't remember your apartment number so she can't come back and knock? Also, you know....it seems dangerous....like what if there's a fire?

• There's a lot of street performers that juggle in front of cars parked at red lights and then ask for money. A lot of them really suck. There was there one guy who stood at the intersection outside the Starbucks in Cordoba with a clown nose and clown hair and he just tossed two balls between his hands. Like c'mon man. At least learn how to juggle. Oh look there he is now.

• Instead of texting 'haha', they use 'jaja' here. Here's an example from Tinder (yes they tinder everywhere)

Wow that was funny. Jaja.

• The song "Don't Cry for me Argentina" is actually about Argentina (just realized that)

• Mail has like a 50% chance of actual arrival here. It just disappears apparently. Its like a thing that no on does anything about. My dad sent my absentee ballot for the NYC primary and it never got it. Sorry Bernie.

• People like meat here

Now, a little more on Buenos Aires (btw it's rained almost every day we've been here....wtf is that?) It's def bigger than Cordoba (duh!). And a lot more to see. I feel like I really haven't seen anything despite having gone on a walking, bike and bus tour. But here's some stuff that tourists look at.

Mural of Evita (more on Madonna below)

The Pink House (where the president lives). Yes, its like our
White House, only Pink. It's cause they put cow blood in
their paint to make it last longer or something. True story.

Plaza de Mayo (see other post for info on these symbols)

La Recoleta Cemetery (yeah thats a street sign in a cemetery)

Yea those are all giant tombstones/
mausoleums/things 

The Thinker in front of the Congress building (their Congress building, not ours)

Since you brought up Madonna, lets talk about Evita. I didn't really know the backstory because I had never seen the movie. But, through several walking tours I have learned the deets. Here's a summary:

Married Juan Peron who became president. She championed workers right and feminists rights and other hippie causes. Working class people loved her, rich people hated her. People wanted her to become vice president and gathered in front of the building with her mural painted above. She came out and spoke from that building and said "no thanks", then disappeared for a while. People were like wtf Evita? Then she scheduled this speech from the Casa Rosado (the pink house) and all the peoples came and it was like the first speech televised in Argentina or something. She came out and said....

Don't cry for me Argentina

Well she actually she said she was dying, but those lyrics are supposed to represent that speech. Then she died three months later at the age of 33 (only one year older than me). Then Madonna made a move about it 50 years later.

Bummer.

Speaking of street art (great topic transition Matt), Beunos Aires has a ton of it. Like every street is tagged in someway, but there's some pretty awesome stuff too. We actually went on a street art (grafitti) tour of the city.

And in other news, I played polo. As in I got on a horse with a mallet, rode around and hit things.

Like this type of polo

It was a full day trip organized out to a polo ranch. Now I had never ridden a horse before and much wine was consumed beforehand, but this place decided it was still OK to let us do this. And it was amazing! I mean I was terrible at polo (and riding the horse), but I feel like I made a lot of new friends...Mr. Mustang, and Britney Spurs and Charlie Horse (I looked those puns up). I even got my horse to gallop which was a new, unique and pretty awesome sensation.

Ballers (as in Polo Ballers)

Me and Mr. Mustang

Its a sophisticated game

Me and Mrs. Mustang

So that about sums up my average life for the past few weeks. Tomorrow, I continue in typical fashion by heading to Patagonia for almost a week. So, in case you're looking for me, I'll be here:

Oh and here I am wearing some platform shoes

Hola desde el otro lado

Como se puede ver , soy fluido en español ahora, para que todo este post va a ser en español!

Que?

Here's the translation of the above sentence: here

I will let you translate the post title on your own (its worth it).




OK, no more of that.

This past weekend, I wineried (WINE-or-ied).

This is how I winery

Wow, I am sophisticated as F**k (BTW the first * there is for 'r' and the second * is for 'an', so I am really saying I'm sophisticated as Frank....he's this guy I know who's really sophisticated).

More about that later. But first, I wanna deal with some questions that a lot of you have been asking me (actually no one has asked me anything, but I want to feel like I have fans writing in).


Q: How do you pack for a year long trip like this?

A: Funny you should ask. I actually have a picture of everything I packed (it seems everyone on these trips has a picture like this, so I wanted to be trendy)

To be clear, thats the following....

Toiletries
1 Toothbrush
1 Toothbrush charger
365 condoms
2 Extra toothbrush heads
1 Toothpaste
1 deodorant
1 Year supply contacts
1 Year supply medications
1 Nail clippers
1 Floss
1 Facewash

Clothes
2 Jeans
3 Running shorts
3 Short sleeve running shirts
3 Long sleeve running shirts
1 Bathing Suit
3 Shorts
1 Hoodie
1 Hiking boots
1 Running shoes
1 Sandals
5 Short sleeve shirts
1 Button down shirt
1 Rain jacket
1 Heavy running shirt thing

Travel Stuff
1 Backpack
1 Quickdry towel
1 Clothesline
1 Travel wallet
1 Water bottle
1 Power converter set
1 Travel surge protector
1 Sleeping bag liner
1 Eye mask
1 Travel safe
3 Locks
2 Resistance bands
1 Sunglasses
1 Leatherman
1 Travel pillow
1 USB fan
1 Electronics organizer
X Zip lock bags

Electronics
1 Macbook
1 Earbuds
1 Retractable USB cable
1 Kindle
1 Phone
1 Run watch
1 Tablet
2 Thumb drives
1 iPhone charger
1 Tablet charger
1 Battery pack
1 Watch charger
1 Dongle
1 Mouse
1 Keyboard
1 Monitor

Somehow that all fit in my bag. Actually it didn't. I had planned to only bring my travel backpack and side satchel thing, but at the very very last minute (the first time I tried packing) I found that it definitely all could not fit, so I brought along another backpack).


Q: Where do you work?

A: Here (for now):

Q: Who are your personal heroes?

A: Wow, what a tough question. I feel so unprepared to answer this. But I just turned my head to the right and our two "leaders" or "chaperones" or "camp counselors" of our trip were sitting there, so I'm pretty sure its them. So here they - Travis and Sam (Or as they like to say...Tramantha):

(Not a real picture frame)

Sam in a sweet? hat on her birthday

You prob feel like you really know them now. They are super cool and are making this trip awesome.


Q: Have you ever been to Thailand?

A: That's a weird question, I'm in Argentina right now. Why are you asking about Thailand? But if you really want to know, yes, I have been to Thailand and you can read about it here (you can also learn about Burning Man here....really you should just read all my blog posts).


And this concludes our Q&A session for this post. I want to thank everyone who participated this week and please keep on sending those questions and I will answer them in future posts (or start sending questions really).


Last time I told you about some interesting observations I had made here in Cordoba. I have a few more for you today....

• On the day that college students take their final exam, their friends "kidnap" them, strip them down to little more than underwear, cover them in paint and drive around with them sitting out the trunk of the car while they yell and honk at everyone. Then (in this same outfit), they go out to a meal with all their friends and family. Makes sense.

• Not really an observation.....but everyone here drinks Mate. Ya know Mate (Matte, Maté)

 Mate

This is not a picture of me

• Not sure if I mentioned it in my last post, but they like meat here (I really know I mentioned it in my last post ) (I am actually referencing a joke I made in my last post about remembering whether I mentioned they like meat) (this is getting too meta)

• Cordoba has like one of the only Fernet manufacturing plants in the world, so Fernet and coke is the drink of choice here....not my favorite

• Argentina had this military dictatorship through the 70s and 80s that made a lot of people "disappear". They also had a habit of taking babies away from families which they gave to military families to raise instead. This whole period is called the 'dirty war' and its memory is very much part of the culture in Argentina today. There is a group called, Madres de Plaza de Mayo, which is like mothers of the missing. So their mission is to try to identify children (adults today) who were taken from their real families and given to military families. They have a lot of political power and their symbol (a handkerchief) seems to be in the central plaza of most Argentinian cities (or the two that I have seen)

Madres de Plaza de Mayo

Last week was actually the 40th anniversary of the start of the dirty war and they had a large march through the city. Of course the US was involved in supporting the dictatorship here (as we tend to do (and continue to do (sorry for getting political(not really sorry)))) and so there is a lot of animosity towards what the US represents. Obama (seen above drinking a Mate) was in Buenos Aires the day of the 40th anniversary to help mend the relationship between the countries and actually agreed to demands to open up the CIA files on the US' support of the dictatorship in order to help find some of the missing. Coincidentally, that same day, Argentina dropped the reciprocity fee for US citizens traveling to Argentina (previously Americans had to pay them $160...just kind of as a fuck you). 

There are also grandmothers of Plaza de Mayo

Someone's being naughty

Translates to: "I come to sweep the backyard". Yeah, take that Obama

Viva la revolucion!!!! #FeelTheBern

Now, lets talk about my big trip of the last couple weeks....Mendoza. When you think of Mendoza, you should think of this:

Me, passed out in the grass on the lawn of a winery!

But first, I need to tell you about the bus ride. We took an overnight sleeper bus from Cordoba to Mendoza (about 9 hours). This bus was first class. I'm not sure why we don't have these in the US, but in the words of Borat, "I like".

No, sorry, that was Air Force One. Here's the bus I rode on:

Andy and Diane...so cute (one of two married couples on the trip)

Your seat could go totally flat, there were TVs in every seat with a selection of movies (in English even), and a bus stewardess (not sure of the correct terminology here...bus attendant? bus servant?) who served you two meals and wine. 

And that was my trip to Mendoza.

Sorry, no, there was more than the bus ride. We visited three wineries. The first was the oldest winery in Mendoza, the second was one of the newest wineries with a backdrop of the Andes mountains (unrelated to Andy in the picture above) and the third just gave us a bangin meal (a winery term) with four different types of unlimited wine (hence why everyone passed out in the grass after).

Winery #1:

The wine I am bringing back for gifts for all of you

Welcome to my home

Pancho

Winery #2:

The grapes smell of fear

Yep!

Winery #3:

Different grapes, I swear

Part of the bangin meal

Oh and somewhere in between, we took this gem:

Not feeling the wine at all

And in case you were wondering (as I certainly was), this is what an Argentinian rap battle looks like:

Another major highlight of the last couple weeks was going to the Argentina vs. Bolivia futbol match (no not soccer you Americans). This was a qualifier for the Russia 2018 world cup.....and I got to see Messi score a goal on a penalty kick, NBD. 

This being my first time at a professional futbol match, I didn't know what to expect, but I did expect your standard riots. As much as I tried, though, I couldn't get the riot going. But I suppose even if it happened they were prepared with with a moat around the the actual field.

The moat keeping fans (and the black night) at bay

The stadium was setup as first come first serve with no assigned seating which was was unfortunate since we got there right before the game started and were forced to stand on the steps by the exits. The stadium seemed pretty unpolished overall with no scoreboards, time clock or other game related indicators of any kind. Just two jumbotrons (sp?) playing random videos unrelated to the game. There were also no speakers built into the stadium and they just kinda threw some speakers around the field for sound #DiscountStadium. Overall, great experience though. I recommend it to you the next time you're in Argentina during a world cup qualifying match.

So much stuff happens here that I can't keep up with my blog. So much time has passed since my last post (and starting this post), that I'm not even in Cordoba anymore (say what?). Yeah, I arrived in Buenos Aires last night for the next stop on my trip. Thats right, its already been five weeks. How f***ing crazy is that? (the first * is for 'u', then the next * is for 'c' and the third * is for 'k'....the word is 'fucking'). I bet you thought I wrote this post all in one sitting...nope. It takes place over days of slaving away over a hot fire.

So on that note, we will say good bye to Cordoba and hello to Buenos Aires (I said, say hello!)

Good bye Cordoba

Hello Buenos Aires

Oh, btw, why has no one come to visit me yet?