What Happens in Vegas....Stays on Matt's Blog

The land of hope and opportunity....where people fall in and out of love on an hourly basis. Where babies are made and.....disposed of daily. Where Matt Levin goes to celebrate his cousin's wedding, but spends the majority of the weekend getting hammered on the strip. Of course I am talking about the holy land. No, not Jerusalem....Vegas.

I mean don't get me wrong, the trip started innocently enough in the Mormon land of Salt Lake City. In case you care, my brother lives there....and he has a new baby daughter (I guess that makes her my niece). This was really my first experience of significant time with a baby. Those things are crazy. They move around and make a lot of noise, but don't really offer to help you in any way. But they make me seem more likable in pictures.

You know you want to say awww. But you shouldn't cause in the picture I'm actually in the process of grabbing my bottle of gin back from her (I dunno why I like to drink it out of baby bottles).

But I know you didn't come here to read about babies, so we can jump ahead to Vegas. But even after I got to Vegas, there was still some time to see family and only drink moderately.

So, here's another picture that makes me seem like a person you may want to be around.

And here's one of me, my brother and dad, after my uncle said something about the balls behind our head. Classiness runs in our family.

And then all hell broke loose.....

  

                                 

Hmmmmmm.....I was hoping that those pictures were gonna be crazier. But I wanted to convey that you can drink on the street, I am incredibly white, and that they have clubs in Vegas.

This was the general schedule of my nights: drink, drink, drink, drink, gamble, drink, club, drink, dance, food, gamble, drink, dance, puke, dance, drink. And at this point it was actually the next night and time to start over again at drink. 

Except for Sunday when we went to Wet Republic. Pool Party! There were turtle floaties and slip and slides......and the hottest girls I have ever seen in my life. This was our waitress,,,,

Look at her. She can't keep her hands off my tan body. And I'm pretty sure she was the ugly waitress.

I'm gonna go ahead and recommend everyone gets a Cabana at a party pool in Vegas, cause shit is sweeeet.  Typically cabanas have like a $1000 minimum. Lucky for me though, my bro got us a hook up and we had no minimum at all. Booyah. So, for five of us for five hours, we got away with only spending $775. What a fucking deal!

Life

is

Good!!! 

But I have no idea how we spent that much money. I'm guessing somebody bought a bottle of something behind my back. Of course my brother (who wasn't paying for anything) signed the bill to our hotel room and didn't think to check anything when the bill came out to that ridiculous amount. I believe his quote was..."well that's gonna suck".

I'm not sure what else to say, cause I can't remember because of all the alcohol. Ummmm, we stayed at Aria. Nice hotel. We went to the club there, Haze. Nice club. We got an $80 breakfast in bed. Nice breakfast.

So in the end, I spend shit tons of money. I lost shit tons of money gambling. And I have a void in my memory of the weekend cause I was drunk the whole time. Now that's money well spent.....or not.